We're all just doing our best.

First, I'm aware that it's been almost two years since I last blogged. I actually forgot about my little blog for awhile. But I'm back, and feeling feisty! :D

So, when did parenting become such a competition? I've noticed a bunch of blogs and articles recently about parenting. They all seem to say the same thing in different ways...Here's what you're doing wrong, and here's how to do it my way the right way!

What is the "right" way? There are so many ways to raise your children, how can you be sure you're doing it the "right" way? Well, as a fellow parent and human being, allow me to share with you my own list of standards.

1. Don't be an asshole! You know, because "monkey see, monkey do" and such. 
2. Everything in moderation. Don't kick yourself for driving through McDonald's after 3 hours of baseball. It's OK. Your kids aren't going to turn into Honey Boo Boo from the couple times a month you do drive through dinners. I promise. 
3. We are an electronic generation! I hate to hear "When I was a kid, we kicked rocks and rode bikes. Kids today spend too much time with electronics!" I had to kick rocks as a kid, because THERE WAS NOTHING ELSE TO DO!!  I'm happy my kids have more entertainment options today. They exercise their brain all day at school, their bodies at recess and sports/practices for sports, and then they do more work at home with homework and chores. If little Johnny wants to play Minecraft for a couple of hours before bed, then so be it. He's earned it. 
4. Don't feel guilty for YOU time! Guess what you were before you were a parent? You were a human who had interests of their own! Where is it written that we have to give up all things that were fun before, just because we decided to procreate? You just helped little Jill with all her homework. You cuddled on the couch and watched her favorite show. You made dinner and ate as a family. If you want to spend the rest of your evening on the couch with a book, or you want to go to the gym, then SO BE IT. We parents put so much pressure on ourselves to spend every waking free moment with our kids, entertaining them, nurturing them, doting on them. Stop feeling guilty because you don't want to play Mario on the Wii, or because you don't want to play Chutes and Ladders for 2 hours straight. Kids need to learn to entertain themselves as well. They will survive, I promise. And they aren't going to hate you, someday looking back like "I remember that one night in 3rd grade, when Mom refused to watch 'Jessie' with me..." 
5. Stop trying to "fit it all in". I'll admit, I used to be the mom who wanted to have the cleanest house in all the land, all while making my own baby food and keeping everyone happy. Let me tell you, YOU CAN'T DO IT ALL. Don't try to kill yourself by trying to be the best at everything. I'm a much better cook than house cleaner. I'd rather spend my time making a meal that my family will make ALL THE YUMMY NOISES for, rather than scrub floor boards or dust mini blinds. So yeah, there might be crumbs on my floor. But instead of busting out my Swiffer every 5 minutes (and yes, with my kids...and husband...and dog, it would be every five minutes!), I'd rather spend my time doing something else productive. 
6. Respect your fellow parents. Admit it. You totally judged the lady who let her kid have dessert at Chili's, or the mom who drives her kids to school, even though she lives only 2 blocks from school, or the dad who checked his email on his phone while he was out to lunch with his family. We all judge. We all do things "the wrong way", according to societal standards. But seriously, no one is perfect. So while you're silently horrified that the lady two booths away is letting her 3 year old inhale enough ice cream for your family of four, just remember this...we're all just trying our best. At the end of the day, that is all anyone can ask. So cut that mom some slack and remember, you have your own moments that you're probably not proud of. 

Every family has a different dynamic, schedule, and way to do things. What works for one may not work for another. So these articles that are full of parent-guilt...ignore them! Continue doing your best, watching your children thrive, and cut yourself some slack! Now get out there, create some memories, kick some rocks, and remember...tonight would be a great night for some In & Out Burgers! ;)

Why I'll never be "Team Mom"

My latest frustration...sports. My boys are in t-ball and baseball right now. It's a parks & rec beginner league. It's supposed to be a fun, low stress situation. They're supposed to learn the sport, have fun, and get some exercise. Some parents make that simply impossible. So I've compiled a list of things I'd like to say to many of the parents I've encountered in the two years my boys have played flag football, baseball, soccer, and basketball.


1) Do not give yourself a stroke yelling at your son for missing a pass. It's flag football. He's learning.


2) These kids have spent the past hour running and sweating. Please, snack-mom-of-the-week, do not attempt to give them kool-aid and candy as snack. 


3) I'm sorry you didn't make the NBA, crazed dad. But making your 8 year old son cry at basketball PRACTICE for missing a basket is really unnecessary. 


4) No, I'm really not interested in spending $20 to have my son's last name put on his $10 t-shirt for flag football. 


5) The only reason I'm giving you $20 for a team banner is because I don't want my kid to be the only kid without his name on the damn thing. We're 4 games into our 9 game season. Is this necessary???


6) Cursing at the referee during your 6 year old's basketball game for "Not calling an f'ing foul" is quiet crude. I'm glad they kicked you out, dumb ass.


7) Yelling instructions at your child, while the coach is talking to your child is quite counterproductive. Can you let the coach do their job? Here's an idea...volunteer to coach next season if you think you can do better!


8) Your son and that other boy collided while playing football. Your son got hurt. You have no business yelling at our coach about how it's "his fault" and "what are you teaching these kids?". It was an accident. WE all saw it. The other kid apologized to your son. Calm the hell down.


9) Seriously, if you think you can do a better job coaching the kids, then VOLUNTEER TO DO IT YOURSELF. Please quit complaining and venting about how the coach doesn't know this and that. 


10) The coach emailed the change in practice at 10am. He also called and left you a voicemail. How is it HIS fault you never checked your email or voicemail during the day, which made your son an hour late??


This is why I can never be a Team Mom. I'd end up taking a flask of wine to every game. 

I Don't Own Yogapants

I'll admit it. Before I was a stay at home mom, I imagined the "life of leisure" I'd be living, not having to work outside the home. My fantasy included a morning cup of coffee, while reading a magazine on my patio, with my home and yard sparkling neat and clean. 

Yeah, right. 

The life of a stay at home mom is much different. Yes, we are very lucky to be able to stay home with our children. I have many friends who have to work outside the home, that ache daily leaving their little ones in daycare. My heart goes out to them. I also have friends that choose to work outside the home because they want to. 

And you know, I'll admit it. I used to judge. I never understood why anyone would want to leave their kids in the care of some stranger just to go make the almighty dollar. How could they leave their kids with strangers just to go make a buck? I didn't get it. 

But having friends on both sides opened my eyes. Every person has their own, personal situation, their own reasons for either staying home or working. Some moms simply work outside of the home to keep their sanity. Some do because they want something that is just theirs. Some do because they have to. Some do so they have that extra cash for things they want to do, such as having that cup of coffee on their sparkly patio. 

Regardless of the situation, both sides have a stigma that might never go away. Us stay at home moms sit in front of the TV all day, eating bon bons and watching Oprah. Those working moms get to hire housekeepers and eat lunch out every day. We don't do any actual work, or contribute to society. They are ignoring their children and letting someone else do their job. **Insert eyeroll here**

Why can't we, as a society, just respect each other? We can respect religious choices, political affiliations, so why not respect a mother's situation? We all work hard, whether we get a paycheck or not. Let's just quit debating who works harder and just do the best we can to get through life and raise our children to be loving, respectful, hard working adults. 

Want to know why I have 3 baskets of laundry to fold??

I recently had a discussion with my rarely caffeinated husband. He said that I seemed to get more done BEFORE I was a stay at home mom. After staring a hole through him for what seemed like an eternity, I gave him the following answer.

Before I was a stay at home mom, I only had two people to take care of. I only did dishes for two, laundry for two, cooking for two, shopping for two, and cleaning for two. There were no after school play dates. There was no hour of homework in the afternoon. There were no soiled sheets that needed to be washed and changed because someone had an accident. There were no toys to be picked up. There football/basketball/gymnastics practice to rush off to after dinner. There were no sports to shuttle kids to on the weekends. There were no Chuck E. Cheese birthday parties to suffer though. There were no swim lessons, no parent/teacher meetings, no classroom to volunteer in. 

There was just two of us. Sure, I got more done. But life is so much more complete now, that I wouldn't change anything. Except the Chuck E. Cheese parties. I hate those.

**(No husbands were harmed during the above real-life conversation.)**

Not Just a Supermom Anymore!

Yes, I haven't blogged here in 8 months. Life got in the way. But a lot has changed since my last blog.


For starters, my boys are both in school full time. This means I have 6.5 hours of daytime bliss...I mean, time to get stuff done! So, to help supplement our little family's income level, this Supermom went and got a J-O-B! I'm a modern day lunch lady. Meaning, I unload boxes of prepackaged food for the children of today to consume in their 20 minutes of lunchtime. It's not curing cancer, but it is a fun, little 3 hour job. The best part is I have the same schedule my kids do. So when they're out of school, I'm off work. And, I still have a hour in the morning to do stuff like this, and an hour and a half in the afternoon to run errands/take naps/sit at Starbucks and play Words With Friends/volunteer in my kids class! It's a win-win for all! 


However, going from a full time stay at home mom to even just working 3 hours a day is a huge adjustment! I have less time to do the necessary things that I guess I may have taken for granted before. Now instead of having a whole 6 hours to bust out laundry, I'm having to do a few loads here and there. And instead of being able to get all the Costco/Target/Safeway trips done in one day, I have to get what I can done in an hour, then rush to the school to get the boys. But, thanks to a supportive hubby, I'm managing well. 


So, this Supermom has another gold star to put on her cape. And while I'm at it, I suppose I can patch those holes in the knees of the boy's jeans...it never ends!

My blog must need more caffeine...

I have posted a total of four blogs. Two of them just *whoosh*, disappeared. Just like my youth, my sleep, my thin legs, my flat belly. All gone. I wish my thighs and butt would just *whoosh*, disappear!

My coffee is cold.

When you're a caffeinated supermom like myself, one thing is obvious. I love my coffee. I love the smell of it, the taste of it, the feel of a warm cup in my hands. And, of course, how it makes me feel less like a zombie perks me up. There are very few things I will allow to get in between me and my cup of necessity in the morning. One of those things is a conversation with another supermom friend.

Sometimes, as a busy mom, you get so busy that you'll find almost two weeks have gone by since you were able to sit down and chat with friends. So there are times when you will chat with someone for an hour while standing in the sun. It doesn't matter how bad your back hurts, or how you're longing for that warm cup of coffee back in your car.

So, I raise this cold cup of coffee to you, my friend in the blue car, and I say thank you for listening to me vent to you this morning. In the school parking lot. While you little girl protested by eating her toes in the backseat. And my coffee got cold. You're worth it. :)